Dog Pound Star "BillT" Like a Broad

July 7, 2008

PROVIDENCE, RI - Approaching the conclusion of practice on Sunday, Ian Race hit a pop up in foul territory, yet Bill Tammaro ran after that ball like a fat kid behind an ice cream truck. With the fence rapidly approaching, Tammaro decided to miss the ball and slide his ankle under the chain link fence like a branch through a wood chipper. As imagined, the BillT chipped the bone in his ankle.

An extremely reputable Dog Pound insider believes that the BillT reagrevated an ankle injury from the preseason. Hence the reason for his poor start. Could there be some truth behind this? If not the case, it would be the first time in which the BillT entered training camp without an injury. Some may remember years past when the BillT would limp into practice with either a black eye or a broken jaw.

Another source believes that the BillT may have either faked the injury or intentionally injured himself. In an effort to avoid harsh criticism from team mates for missing games to go curtain shopping with his wife for his new home, Tammaro had no other option. Prior to the injury, local paparazzi found Bill and his wife in Bed, Bath, and Beyond in Burlington 10 minutes after a Dog Pound game's conclusion. When the paparazzi compared him to Gillis, the BillT got confrontational, threatening to burn his camera with a Seaside Holiday scented candle.

The BillT had this to say about the allegations: "All this negativity sucks. I'm giving everything I got and this town sucks. Matt Gillis isn't walking through that door. Derek Bates isn't walking through that door. We are an older less experienced team, yet we remain positive, its you who bring about the negativity and it sucks."

Updated injury analysis will be posted as it becomes available.