Dog Pound's New Regime In Effect

March 15, 2007

BURLINGTON, MA - John Breslin has officially taken over as the Dog Pound Manager and he seems to have all his ducks in a row so far. Some key moves include naming a first ever captain, Luke Lemelin. Many players and fans want to know exactly what his role will be. "I plan to have meetings with just the players, no Breslin and discuss important things like Cutco knives, the Goodfellas, and overall softball techniques. I will also motivate the players to reach their fullest potential" said Luke Lemelin.

Others believe that Luke does not deserve such a position. "It's similar to naming Randy Moss, Latrell Sprewell, or Manny Ramirez as a team captain" said an anonymous teammate. However the players feel, Luke demands respect and all players need to address him as Captain Luke, no more Puke Gremelin, teen wolf or vomit. Captain Luke only.

Breslin also named two new players to the roster. They are Ian Race and Chris Sullivan. Dog Pound nation welcomes both aboard and wishes them both the best of luck. Terms of their contracts are still under review and will be announced as soon as they are available.

New uniforms, a new bat, and the new 1st base bag are all new projects currently in the works. "I have the uniforms and the bat under control yet I'm assigning Billy Tammaro as the Executive Purchasing Agent for the bag" said Breslin to the media. "I've done my homework on the double bag technology. There is so much too consider when making the purchase. I have scheduled meetings with executives from McGregor, Franklin, and Rawlings to discuss the best base out there. I need a bag with high impact absorption, and manufactured with Ethylene Propylene Diene Monomer plastic. Once I can come to a reasonable compromise with the manufacturer, the base will be all ours" said Bill Tammaro to a group of reporters outside Dick's Sporting Goods in Providence this morning.

The first practice is scheduled April 1st hopefully with the new double 1st base bag.