New Head Coach Rumor Leaked

July 5, 2006

WALTHAM>MA. A very reliable Dog Pound insider reported to The Daily News Tribune this morning that head coach Daniel Doherty is stepping down as head coach at the end of the season. Coach Doherty was quoted as saying, “I’ve had it as coach. I thought I had it what it takes to create a dynasty, yet it just isn’t running through my veins like I thought it would”.

Who will replace coach Dan? Will he finish the season out? These questions were thrown around all day. “I’d love an opportunity to coach the Dog Pound. I’ve followed them for years. I understand the game and more importantly I understand leadership, devotion, pride, and hard work”, said Albert Lemelin to the press. Albert Lemelin is supposedly a front runner for the new position. “Having a guy who doesn’t play on the team could work. Also, all of his sons have played softball all over the state. He is a perfect fit,” said Terry Francona on WEEI this morning. Francona however also ruled out any possibilities that he was interested in the position at this time.

“I think my old man would be perfect for the team. I know he would add Steve and Pat to the roster as well.  It would be a Lemelin invasion. For the new uniforms we would wear wet suits and our team name would be NOTHING. Supa Lata,” said Luke Lemelin in reference to the new coach rumor.

Ex Dog Pound player and substitute aficionado William Tammaro is also eying the head coach position. “I lead by example, look at my numbers. Ridiculous. I play A League and I’ve been playing for like seven years. I personally think I’m over qualified yet I’m willing to help out a C League team.” said Bill Tammaro this morning.

Luke Lemelin is also showing an intense interest in the head coaching position, yet he doesn’t have a chance in hell of that happening. SUPA LATA!!!!

Supposedly the interview process has been done secretly and is already happening. “We want the players to focus on the game at hand. This is actually the first I’ve heard of all this. Dog Pound executives are honestly focusing on the Black Sox not the head coach position.” said a Dog Pound spokesman earlier this morning to a flock of reporters.